


In Love and War

by prototyping



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I guess I was in the mood for smth sad, KH3-era, Platonic Cuddling, a half-hour fic I wrote at 1:30 in the morning, and I just really like breaking Aqua :'), change of plans it's gonna be all three of them now, everyone's broken sorry, my titles still suck bye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-20 13:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10663722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prototyping/pseuds/prototyping
Summary: A happy ending takes effort. A new beginning requires so much more. Terra, Aqua, Ventus.((Update: SURPRISE this is now about the full trio))





	1. when she cracks

“Terra… don’t go.”

It was the first time Aqua had spoken up in the last couple of hours. Terra turned around, doubly surprised to find that she had removed her helm and now held it between her hands. Her downcast eyes were fixed on it, but absently, her lips pressed thin.

“What?”

“Don’t--” She inhaled sharply, eyes closing. “We have more than enough people. You shouldn’t have to fight.” He saw her gloved fingers tighten. “You haven’t had enough time to recover. You and Ven both -- you should take him and just -- _go_ \--”

Terra reached up to pull off his own helmet, so that when Aqua looked up again she met a calm, concerned gaze. She held it, although she appeared uncomfortable doing so. “Aqua.” Her eyes narrowed at her name, almost wincing. “You know we have to do this,” he told her calmly. “All of us. Even with our allies, the seven still need to play their part--”

“You shouldn’t have to. Not the two of you.”

“Aqua--”

“Ven’s only been awake a few days,” she said briskly. “After _thirteen years_ , Terra--”

“I know.” His voice was gentle and grim.

“And you…” She gave a weak shake of her head, exhaling sharply. “It isn’t fair.”

Her concern wasn’t surprising. Not at all. What threw Terra off was the timing -- that Aqua had held it all in for this long -- and how quickly her restraint was breaking. She had always been the most levelheaded one of their group, the last to act impulsively. And now, after going along with everything that had been asked of them so far… _now_ she chose to object, at the very last minute.

He couldn’t blame her -- he shared her fears, her anxiety, her doubt, her fiercely protective love of Ven in particular -- but he couldn’t condone what she was suggesting. He wasn’t entirely sure she truly meant it, either; she knew what had to be done. She knew they had come too far to back down, that there _was_ no room to back down. Losing two of the seven in this fight would be akin to losing them all. The war would be lost before it began.

But he understood where she was coming from.

Terra closed the distance between them in a few small strides, silent except for the rattle of his armor’s plates. Aqua had lowered her head again, either too emotional or too ashamed to face him so boldly.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “It’s not fair. Nothing’s been fair for a long time.” He set a hand on her shoulder, even if she couldn’t feel his reassuring squeeze beneath the steel. “But that never stopped you, did it?” He saw her tense slightly, only to sag again a moment later.

“No,” she admitted in a small voice. Terra could detect the unspoken _But_ there. He didn’t need to ask. As strong as she was, as strong as he liked to believe she would always be, even Aqua couldn’t have made it through all that she had without faltering somewhere along the way. Nobody could have.

“That’s right,” he said with a smile. “And you know me ‘n Ven can’t let you show us up. We might be a little rusty, but we’re together. That’s the most I can think to ask for.”

He watched her heave a silent sigh. Slowly, she reached up to touch his wrist. “I know we are,” she murmured. “But that’s why it’s so hard, Terra.” Her grip tightened. “I can’t… lose you two again--”

Terra let go of her shoulder, instead slipping his palm around the back of her neck, his thumb under her jaw to gently prompt her head up. When Aqua obeyed, he leaned down to touch his forehead to hers and held her startled gaze, unwavering.

“You’re not going to lose me.” His tone shifted from soft reassurance to firm, decisive confidence. “Not me. Not Ven. And we’re not going to lose you.” Aqua’s eyes softened -- a searching look, a pleading look. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe him so badly, but life had robbed her of such simple forms of trust. It had stripped that comfort away from her, and in its place had nailed the harsh reality of survival. It would take time to smooth over those scars -- maybe a _long_ time, and maybe she would never be exactly the same as she used to be -- but Terra was determined to try, and would never stop trying. “We found each other when it was a lot darker than this, remember?” he prompted in a lower voice. Recognition flickered in her eyes. “It’s more than just us now. We’re together,” he repeated, “and _nothing_ will change that. Not this time. I promise you both.”

Again Aqua closed her eyes, again she breathed in, but there was the lightest of trembles in her frame this time. Her hold on his arm slackened, then fell away, and for a moment Terra wasn’t sure whether he’d scratched that marble surface of hers, after all.

And then she suddenly threw her arms around his chest, clutching him tight. He mirrored her more on reflex than conscious thought, pulling her closer as she leaned into the soft leather between his neck and shoulder. “We’ll be alright,” she breathed. Terra wasn’t sure whether it was agreement or an attempt to convince herself.

He nodded once, and then turned to speak quietly against her soft hair. “Trust us, Aqua. We’ll find a way.”


	2. when he slips

Terra was freezing.

The cold touch was familiar now, ever the byproduct of reaching inside himself to the darkness pooled there. Normally, it was uncomfortable at most. This time, as deeply as he had been forced to reach and as far as his limits had been pushed, the chill was numbing.

Light trickled back into his vision, but feeling to his limbs didn’t. He blinked in the blue-white glow of the night, the only movement he could make as fatigue settled hard and heavy in both muscle and bone.

_“Terra!”_

Light. He turned toward the sound, slow and dazed, but he was even more spent than he realized. Stiff and frigid, his body snapped like a branch in winter and he collapsed.

\--Into a pair of waiting arms, seemingly out of nowhere. He heard a grunt as the person struggled beneath his weight, forced to sink to his knees but managing to prop Terra against himself.

“Terra -- hey--”

Ven. He was all right. Warm relief flooded Terra’s veins faster than adrenaline. It returned just enough feeling for him to plant his hands in the dust on either side of Ven’s thighs, taking back a little of his weight. Not much, but enough that Ven wouldn’t have to bear it all.

“Ven…” It was supposed to sound cheerful, or at least positive, but exhaustion made it fall quiet and flat. “Where…”

“Aqua’s okay. She’s helpin’ the others.”

_Good. That’s good._

Terra’s vision was still hazy. He didn’t notice any movement until Ven’s fingers -- the skin hot compared to his own -- gripped his forearms. “You’re cold.” Ven sounded puzzled. Terra bobbed his head lightly.

“I’m alright. I just…” He set his forehead on Ven’s shoulder, sighing silently. Even that small motion, that tiny reprieve, helped him breathe easier. Everything about Ven was so warm and bright, helping to drive back that dark chill. “...Need you,” Terra finished quietly. “To stay here a minute. Please.”

He could picture the confused look Ven gave him right then, followed by a solemn nod. “Okay,” he said softly. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

There was still so much the three of them needed to talk about. Terra in particular had put off a lot on his end, needing time to plan his words as well as the time to actually say them. Ven and Aqua didn’t know that he made channeling darkness look much easier than it really was. Ven and Aqua didn’t know how draining, how dangerous it was to push himself as much as he had today. Ven and Aqua didn’t know that their lights were the balance he needed at times like these, a source of strength that helped his own light recover enough to take his heart back.

And even without knowing any of that, Ven stayed. A minute came and went and he didn’t pull away, didn’t ask. He just leaned his head lightly against Terra’s, and then after another moment wrapped both arms across his shoulders. Terra’s arms nearly buckled, but it was from the comfort of that enveloping warmth. His panting slowed down, the fog in his mind cleared, and the frost clinging to his marrow thawed and retreated, back into the depths of his heart once more.

He drew back slowly, glad to find that his sight had also returned to normal. Ven let him go, although one hand stayed on Terra’s shoulder uncertainly. “Terra? You okay?” His eyes were wide and worried.

“Yeah... I am now.” Terra offered a tired smile as proof, which seemed to work since Ven did the same. “Thanks, Ven.”

It was obvious he didn’t know what he’d done to earn gratitude, but then Terra was moving to stand and Ven was at his side in a heartbeat to help him. That much was unnecessary, but Terra accepted the assistance regardless. Once Ven had stepped away, Terra took a moment to consider his next move. This fight wasn’t over yet, but he still didn’t have time to explain.

Then again, for now, he was sure he didn’t have to.

“...Ven. There’s a lot I can’t tell you just yet.”

“Huh?”

“But I need a favor.” He met and held Ven’s gaze with what he hoped was some weight, indicative of how important this request was. “If I get like that again… If you notice that I’m cold, I’ll need you to stay by me. Aqua, too.” Ven only looked more bewildered, more concerned. That was what Terra had been afraid of, but he figured that warning them now was better than making them panic later. Cracking another smile, he set a hand on Ven’s head and pulled him against his side, playfully rough. “Hey, come on. I said _if._ ”

That got the laugh he wanted as Ven broke free and pushed him away. “Okay, okay! I’ve got your back.” His smile was still a hesitant one, his look searching as much as it was curious: _Are you really okay?_

Terra clapped him on the back, indicating that they needed to move. As Ven broke into a run alongside him, Terra offered the only answer that he had time for, even if it was a poor one: “I’m fine. I just -- I might need a little help seeing straight.”


	3. when he breaks

She watched him bolt upright without a sound, his silhouette dark and trembling against the window’s backlight. He made a low, wounded noise on his next rapid inhale, a quiet wheeze on the exhale. He buried his face in his hands until his breathing slowed, and then ran his fingers through his hair. His knees came up and he rested his face against them, hugging himself tight.

Aqua let him have a couple minutes to himself -- but when he made no move to lie back down, she finally spoke up. “Ven.”

Despite her gentle tone and low volume, she saw him tense sharply. He raised his head to watch her push her blankets back and sit up, but for a long moment she didn’t rise from her bed. They just held one another’s gaze through the dark, a silent exchange that needed no words yet. Her eyes were well adjusted to the night after lying awake for the last few hours, so she could pick out the blemishes on his shoulders and shirtless back. Despite the hasty healing patch jobs earlier in the evening, they were all still in rough shape, although thankfully safe. She tried not to let her eyes linger on the deep, finger-shaped bruises that wrapped around his throat.

She didn’t ask if he was okay. She knew he wasn’t. Fighting was one thing -- it was their specialty.

The Master hadn’t trained them for war.

Ven’s expression turned pained, but he didn’t look away. She took that as the only invitation he would give and climbed gingerly and quietly to her sore feet, conscious of the other wielders who still slept. Master Yen Sid’s tower was a refuge, but space was still limited. Crossing the short length to Ven’s bed, Aqua didn’t try to force a conversation or gauge how receptive he felt right then. She pulled back his comforter, sat down, and slipped in beside him.

He didn’t object to that, nor to the arm she put around his shoulders, but leaned into her to tuck his head under her chin. He stayed like that for a while, and she began to assume it was a sign of recovery -- right up until he brought his legs even closer and pulled away to curl in on himself. She watched him anxiously, but he didn’t answer -- he couldn’t, she knew -- and for while he only kept his head bowed and his body still except for the rapid movement of his chest and shoulders as his breathing sped up again.

Aqua only waited. At last Ven’s posture sagged, a defeated form of relaxation, and he straightened up again with thin eyes. Glancing at her, he put a hand to his chest -- his heart -- where it balled into a loose fist.

“It still hurts?” she murmured. He nodded once and looked away again. Then he threaded the fingers of both hands together, only to quickly separate them again with a sharp motion. “...I see.” Frowning, she slipped a hand over the same place on his chest that he had indicated. He was still feverishly warm. She concentrated and a dull light appeared and grew beneath her fingers; it was only a few seconds, but she let out a heavy breath when she finished and let it fade. She couldn’t detect anything that needed healing. The pain in Ven’s heart seemed to be something beyond basic fixing.

Noting her expression, Ven offered her a grim smile and a tiny shrug. Playing it off. Aqua brushed a few odd hairs from his eyes, tucked some behind his ear, and then leaned forward to kiss his forehead. It was damp with sweat. With eyes closed she lingered there with him, glad for his wounded but very real, very alive, very _awake_ presence. The smell of blood was still strong on his scalp.

When she pulled back, Ven gently caught her hand and held it. He smiled at her again, his lips parting briefly for a couple seconds before he closed them. His eyes were clear, but tired and sad. The same hand that had nearly choked the life out of him only hours before also robbed him of his voice. The diagnosis was that it would return in full with time, presumably after some more natural healing on top of what curative magic had done to restore his crippled windpipe and the dislocation in his upper spine.

Aqua returned the smile, although it was more difficult than she ever would have thought smiling could be. She turned to rearrange his pillows, which had been knocked around in his uneasy sleep. “Come on, Ven,” she whispered. “We should try and get some rest.” She said _we_ , but she already knew she wasn’t sleeping. Even with her body so exhausted, her mind refused to relax. It couldn’t, not when they were all so broken with only half the battle behind them.

Ven took the right pillow, she took the left after pulling the comforter up to their shoulders. They lay facing each other, still holding hands, although their gazes and thoughts were separated. It wasn’t long before he was seized by another painful spasm, his fingers tightening around hers as he shut his eyes tight to ride it out. Aqua moved closer and touched his shoulder, lightly in case it made him more uncomfortable, but on the contrary it prompted him to throw an arm over her side and flatten himself against her front. He hid his face in her chest, where she felt his hot, hissing breath through her shirt.

At a loss for how to help him, she could only hold him and run her fingers through his hair, murmuring more soft words. She stroked his back, her fingertips finding nicks and scars that she hadn’t noticed before, but made sure to steer clear of his ticklish sides. “You’re alright, Ven,” she assured him. She set her cheek against his hair and spoke gently into his ear. “You’re alright.”

_No one can hurt you now._


	4. when they love

“You don’t have to be up here alone, you know.”

Ven turned at the voice, surprise melting quickly into a smile as he watched Aqua walk up beside him. “Mind if I join you?” she asked cheerfully. When he shook his head, she sat down on his right and let her legs hang over the cliff face alongside his.

“Nah. Just thinkin’,” he told her quietly. “Didn’t know if you were awake.” His voice was still hoarse, unable to rise above a loud whisper at best. He hadn't regained full control of the fluctuations in his tone, either, which meant it would rise or fall or break at random. He was optimistic still, and appreciated that he could speak at all. His expressions could fill in the gaps.

With a hum Aqua also looked out over the mountain peaks, and after a moment tilted her head back at the starry night sky. “It’s quieter up here than I remember.”

Ven nodded. The weather wasn’t too windy this time of year, so the rare wildlife and his own quiet breathing were the only sounds to keep him company when he came here.

Not long after, he saw Aqua glance back over her shoulder. “Terra,” she greeted fondly.

“Figured you’d be here.” He ruffled Ven’s hair as he passed, earning a smile. “It’s pretty late. You two planning to spend the night outside?”

Aqua leaned back on one hand. “Maybe. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Heh, no blankets or anything? You don’t look too prepared. That’s new.”

She smacked at his knee, half-hearted and playful. “Didn’t you tell me it can’t hurt to be spontaneous now and then?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually listen.”

Aqua shook her head as Ven laughed silently. Terra sat down on her right, keeping his good eye toward them.

For a while they didn’t speak. Ven didn’t feel the need to, not at first, but when a thought crossed his mind he let it flow right out through his mouth. “How long’s it been?” he murmured.

“Too long,” said Aqua heavily.

“Mm.”

Again they fell silent. Ven’s gaze settled on a distant star as he let his thoughts wander everywhere and nowhere, never stopping for long on any one thing but not rushing anywhere, either. He didn’t realize Aqua had moved until he heard the musical tinkle of metal. He glanced over and saw her Wayfinder in one hand, stretched out towards the full moon so that its white rays filtered through the blue glass. Two of the petals were cracked. She wore a small, sad smile.

With no further prompting, Ven and Terra also withdrew their charms to hold them up and out the same way. All three bore splits in the delicate glass, casting lines of shadow in the colorful shapes that splashed across their necks and shoulders. Broken, but still intact. Still whole.

Aqua was the first to lower hers, setting it in her lap and cradling it protectively with both hands. “I’m glad…” she began. When she didn’t finish the thought, Ven looked over -- and was startled to see her bowing forward, fingers clutching the Wayfinder tight as her shoulders gently shook.

He and Terra moved in unison, each wrapping an arm around her. Between the two of them they managed to soften and then still her trembling, although it was another long minute before she spoke. “...I’m alright,” she said thickly. She raised her head and they didn’t comment on how red her eyes were. She was still smiling. “We’re alright. It’s okay.”

Ven took her hand as Terra kissed the top of her head. She leaned into the latter but gripped Ven’s fingers tight, a reassuring show of strength in the face of how spent and defeated she looked. Terra spoke to her in a low voice, and then some of the tension went out of her shoulders. Setting his forehead against her arm, Ven closed his eyes and relaxed with her, listening to their low breaths and the crickets and the soft sound of Terra’s skin gliding over Aqua’s as he rubbed her neck in small motions.

He must have drifted off at some point, because the next thing he knew he was being tugged by gentle hands. He blinked, slow and heavy, to see Aqua leaning back against Terra’s chest and sitting between his knees. She was collected now, her smile warm as she pulled Ven towards her and into the pile with them. He started to slip in beside her, but then reconsidered and slid onto her legs to curl up in her lap instead, hugging his knees and resting his head on her shoulder.

He was well aware of how childish that probably was, especially with how stubbornly insistent he was about _not_ being treated like a kid anymore, but right then he couldn’t bring himself to care. Aqua had already seen him at his weakest emotionally (that night in the tower wasn’t the last time she’d had to practically rock him to sleep) and Terra had seen as much physically (he had been the one to wrench Ven out of Xemnas’ iron grip, too late to save his voice or his consciousness but undoubtedly sparing his life, even carrying him off the battlefield after). Something like this… It felt too small and at the same time too significant to touch his pride.

And when the two of them looped their arms around his shoulders to hold him there, Ven was glad for it. There was no chatter, no words of comfort, even; they didn’t need them. Just each other.

When he eventually tilted his head back to steal a glimpse at them, he found they were leaning against one another, temple-to-temple. Their eyes were closed but Aqua still wore a small smile, her breathing deep and even with her hold on Ven no less steady. Terra’s expression was neutral in comparison, but it was still peaceful. It was probably just the scar that cut up across his right eye, Ven reasoned, that made him look so serious.

He settled back down against Aqua’s chest, pressing himself impossibly closer. Beneath their arms like this, there was only their breathing and Aqua’s steady heartbeat and the warmth of their bodies and nothing else.

It was the first time in thirteen years that he slept without a trace of fear or sadness.


End file.
